I really thought, that I would be like Marshall. But I guess I'm a Ted Mosby instead. It's harsh, but it's reality. To put it in words on a chat wouldn't be something I'm fond of doing, and neither is it a good idea to post something like this live so that the public can see. But there really is no medium for me to say anything as of right now, and this is the only solution that I can really conjure in my current state.

14 months was longer than I expected it to be. To think I would make it out on a single day, let alone a week was crazy just the same. We all have our ups and downs, weaknesses and strengths. As much as I've grown though this experience, I've certainly learned a lot as well. As shallow as I may deem myself to be, I was able to reach out to someone that I went from mutual to serious, in a matter of moments. It was a spark that I expected to flicker away after some time, but it kept burning.

There are no lows that I would like to point out, because it's something that should be respected as a private matter between us, so therefore I will talk about the highs. I believed that there was someone I could pour out myself to. To share things and talk about the future. To set plans for one another, and to cherish every moment of it. Every single day I would ask myself "I wonder how she's doing..", and it showed that for once in my life, I sincerely cared. 

I pulled through a lot of downfalls, a lot of doubts, and a lot of criticism to make it to this point, and it's not just a commendation towards myself, but towards you as well. Being by my side, you thought me that I could connect to more people, rather than just my friends whom I've grown an attachment to. I could connect to strangers and develop sincere friendships with them. I learned how to be tolerant towards everyone else, and that the world doesn't revolve around me. 

You're probably happy that it's done with, or you're extremely sad. Either way, I cherish you now as a friend, and wish you the best in 2018, and in the future. There really isn't any reason for you to rush your subjects anymore. You will find a guy that threats you right and one that excels at the areas that I failed.

Thanks for being my first, and for teaching me a lot that I didn't know about myself.

2017, you've been one hell of a year, quite literally.

December 13-18. So, I went on a holiday. Perhaps a well deserved one, considering I've had an awful year containing pretty dumb arguments with my S/O, the death of my former classmate, and an awful first internship experience that I am trying to erase from my memory completely. I wish my former employers all the best, and I hope to never see them ever again.

The original plan was to head to Bali, Thailand. However, a volcano erupted prior to me and my family heading there so the entire trip was scrapped, and a new location was suggested ~ Krabi. It's still in Thailand, just in a different location.

 I head to these holidays with the same people: my dad, grandma, and my three relatives from London (sometimes just two of them). I'll just be brutally honest and say it firsthand that the experience ends up being bitter, one way or another. I'm all about being indoors most of the time, but I make a good purpose as to head outside and explore the area as I'm in a different location, quite far from home. That's a holiday, and I always try my best to make the most out of every moment, as would most people.

Our landmark was pretty remarkable, being situated right outside the beach, so it's an extremely easy trip to make if you're planning on swimming. It was also directly next to the restaurant that we all had our meals at for the entire trip, excluding the first night. Shops and activity centers were more or less a walking distance away, and there were a lot of them; most being identical to one another. I'm pretty sure there are about 15 individual shops promoting the exact same thing, island boating trips.

The issues I will address are going to be brutally honest, in order of criticism towards the trip itself, and then mentioning about the people I went with. 

The rooms we were staying in were immaculate in all angles, but it does have its flaws. The first being the absence of a lock on the washroom door. Now, it's really no big thing as we established a mindset that if the door is open, you're free to use it. If it's closed, then someone's inside. The second would be the water in the shower and bathtub. The temperature control was rather irregular, as sometimes you were able to control the water to your preferred temperature, and other times you had to gamble with the water being too hot or too cold.

Before dawn approaches, the electricity supply to the rooms would be cut, and it's due to the swapping of generators during the early hours. I got woken up prematurely because of this issue, so I hardly ever got a good nights sleep - thus I would be extremely exhausted the following day. But, at least they have a lot of coffee, so that was pretty much how I kept awake.

One of the activities that we did - in fact, the only activity that we did, was snorkeling. Again, there were at least 15 different shops around the area promoting the exact same island boating trips, but with different prices. There were four packages : the first three being individual island visits and the fourth option being a 4-in-1 day trip. Any rational person would choose the 4-in-1 package to maximize the entire experience, and it adds to the fact that the 4-in-1 package was actually cheaper than the individual island trips by about 20%. Three out of four islands had no corals whatsoever, so we were all left with just a blank ocean with just fishes circling around us. I am very convinced that the individual islands had amazing corals to see, but since it's not a package , we were fooled.My previous trips had way more activities than this year, and the following paragraph will explain why this time around, it was dull.

The first issue was sleep. There were plenty of other activities that we could have done, such as water rafting and elephant riding, among the various other options on the brochure. But, everyone required sleep for some weird reason. Majority of our time there ended up being in the hotel room, on our bed, sleeping. That really set the trip backwards, and we ended up not doing anything else, other than eating. 

The second issue was my cousin. When you're on a holiday, you go out and explore the area, swim in the sea, make sandcastles - really, do anything. She however, mentioned that she disliked the sun, the sand, the heat, and other extremely dumb excuses. She stayed in the room the most, and hardly did anything else other than being alone, doing God-knows-what. She didn't even follow us for the snorkeling trip, to add. What a waste.Then again, she's a really unique person - and I mean that in the nicest way as I can possibly state.

The third issue was my uncle. Oh dear, he was a pain. On the first night, we headed a little further out for dinner, and he chose the restaurant based on the price of the beer. Right, whatever. He then ordered Thai green curry, which according to him [tasted like ice cream] and then slammed that place for the remainder of the trip. Well, he slammed everything. He complained that the food was not up to par of his expectations, so the staff took the time to cook him a brand new one - but he couldn't be bothered to finish up the dish. He then complained how this dish was bad, how the dishes were all repetitive, and how he could cook better. Ironically, he then developed a terrible stomach ache and he stayed in the room for an entire day. I guess that's a good example of karma's a bitch. 

The food was repetitive because he's so sensitive about his food choices. "That's too sweet." "That's not good." "That triggers my gout." He ended up ordering barracuda for the majority of the dinners - so what did he expect? Yes, the breakfast selections were pretty limited and repetitive, but everyone liked it. So what's all the bitching about?

After we reached back in Malaysia, he mentioned to my maid about how her cooking is better than the ones in Krabi, and he would never go back there. Honestly, I don't think they would even want him back there. Even if they're not fluent in English, I'm pretty certain that they were able to pick up the signs that he was bitching about everything, except for the alcohol. Yes, my maids cooking is nice, but they're repetitive. It's become boring and bland, as I have been eating the exact same thing for over the past three years since I moved here. Well, it's Sam's selection, and he has shit taste in food so - oh what the hell. Seriously, I cannot get well with both my uncles. One's too egotistical, the other is too stupid.

My uncle had his old friend, Rex over for around two weeks before we left for Krabi. During that time, he vaped every single day, and he really thought that he was acting cool doing so. No, he was rather brainless, as smoking really does shorten your lifespan by a large margin. But I guess he doesn't value his life that much, so I won't say anything about that. Vaping is the exact same thing as smoking a regular cigarette, and the dangers are very identical to one another. Either way, you're endangering your own well being. 

Rex asked me a couple of times if I drank, and I said no. I guess he took it as me being uncool, and he gradually ignored he as time passed on. I don't really care. I'm not a drinker, and I don't plan on becoming one. It doesn't increase your cool factor, especially if you're one to drink every single day of your life. You're as thin as a stick, go eat something. Rex mentioned that I'm a little "big". Well, yes - and I'm doing my absolute best to get back to an "ideal shape" so a lot of people can shut the fuck up. But at least it shows that I'm being fed well, so that's a plus that I'll take out of the whole situation. 


Really though, I don't care what reactions I get out of this Blog post, let it be a rather long essay on Whatsapp about how I'm someone with no respect, or how all this isn't true and I'm stirring up unnecessary drama. There's really no reason for me to respect someone that frankly speaking, doesn't deserve it. During my uncle's birthday, he cooked a few dishes specially for all of us - and asked everyone to taste it (except for me), and give him their honest opinion. In my opinion, they were decent. I didn't take the "main dish" - whatever it was, because I really did not feel like it. I guess my uncle took offense to my rejection, because after that day he gave me the cold shoulder. I don't care. I'm sure it was nice because unlike Sam , you can actually cook and make something. The former just says "wah" over everything he sees on the table, because he's never seen anything else other than the regular he purchases from the market. You can put a salmon on the table and see his reaction, and prove me wrong. The more excited he gets over a dish set on the table, the more I don't want to eat it because somehow, the taste gets ruined. So to answer your curiosity over why I didn't eat the main dish, there you have it.