Schooling life is over, for good.

Apparently it's been 11 years and I didn't even notice it. Time flies.

There weren't many great things that came in these 11 years, neither a lot of bad things, but it was a joyful ride.

Moving on from here, I'm happy to be able to meet amazing people and good teachers, although most of them are horrible in their own ways, and also making memories, like the time last year when I decided to learn Muay Thai for a day and got choked till I couldn't breathe.

Or that time when it was Moral and one of the least favorite teacher in my school was teaching me, then this super hot girl entered the class and the teacher told us that the girl was her daughter. Shut up ! Impossible !!

I'm not entirely sure on what to do right after this, although I'm very stoked for college, of course the fears of a freshman is still there, fingers crossed college isn't as horrible as I could ever imagine !

There are some people who I'm close with from high school and I can bet we'll be in touch for the years to come, maybe even decades....that'll be cool !

There are some which I really wish I could make friends with them, but I guess we're both in the friendzone and can't communicate with each other....so that's a loss.

I guess high school really is fun.....I'm glad I lived through it. Those were good times.

Next chapter : College 

People come and go, yet the sweetest of memories with them will forever remain deep within our hearts.

There's someone out there whom you really care about, yet you don't spend enough time with them. 

It hurts when someone entrusts so much love towards a person yet the person thinks of the one who's showering them with love as a figment of a shadow, a ghost.

Only in death, will you truly learn to love and appreciate the little things that the person has given to you, which turns into a painful infinity.

Live life to its fullest, do everything, regret nothing.

It's been a long time since I myself have been happy.

Being a kid shadowed by darkness, raised by despair, it's hard to find the light, where the happiness is. That's when those people come in.

They share, they relate, they encourage, they council, they're there for you. Those people are the angels hiding behind the darkness, waiting to show you the light.

I've met many angels, in the shape of my best friends, my god-brother - whom although can sometimes be annoying, but I know that they'll always be there for me.

The stars in the sky are the number of people, strangers, souls looking down showering you with love. You're not alone. It's a beautiful world. God is great.

Though life may seem unfair at times, your child is being rebellious, your parents are being overprotective, your friends are being dicks, just think about the people who don't have parents, those on the streets, those who are suffering so much yet can pull out a sincere smile on their faces.

I've realized myself that I'm demanding. I want things to go my way. That's not how the world works. It revolves around an entity of pain, suffering, sorrow. But after the rain comes a rainbow. Reach towards it, stay positive.

God has given you a life, though it may be perfect, be grateful that you're alive. Wonderful things to see, wonderful people to meet, it's a great life.

Don't live in the shadows, get out there and reach for the sun, all the wonders out there.

Those memories you share, those precious moments with the ones you love, are greater than any promises ever made. 

I complain a lot, my mum is a jerk, my dad wasn't there for me. I demand a lot. My dad is trying to give me everything, yet I'm unhappy. Love and trust are two things that are very important to someone. Without love there's no trust, and vice versa. I've lost love, I've lost trust. I'm a goner.

Don't stray down that path. The outcome is horrendous. A demon will fester inside you, chewing on your soul for all the despair trapped inside your heart. Never forget to love someone, the way they love you. Then, you will be able to trust, trust that there's someone out there, watching over you. Your guardian angle.

* I'm crying while writing this pointless post, or so I think so, one sec *sobs* *

Time is running out, my grandma keeps mentioning about the fact that she won't live long, her life is almost up, there won't be anyone for me to joke to, for me to hug and and here the words " I love you very much " .

I love you too, I just don't have the ability to express it. I try , I try very hard, yet I can't . Although I don't talk to you or spend a lot of time with you, those moments seeing you around and smiling at me are the things that I will treasure. 

To my mum, I love you a lot. You do get on my nerves when you make me wait for no reason for you to finish some errand that never crossed your mind, but the times when you fought for me, the times when you took the time to care for me without even bothering about your own well being, is the best thing a child can ever receive from a mother.

Dad, you weren't there for me, those times I really needed you, you weren't there. You came back around March last year and instead of a happy reunion, we fought. I fought. Mum got caught in my ring of rage. She gave up, I gave up. Somehow I felt happy yet really disappointed because you came back.

You basically returned for good thinking that everything would be okay. That I would be okay. People growing up with only one side of their parents are not fine. We're hurt. We do bad things. It's just that I would never stoop so low that I'd be buying drugs off the streets to cure my pain. 

I keep them bottled up, I keep them to myself. I remind myself on how I will never let my children suffer the way I did. I know better than anyone else about the feeling being raised up in a broken family.

Dad , if you could do it all over again, would you have chosen the same path? 

" To gain something you have to sacrifice something else "

You gained peace , but you sacrificed my happiness, my life. I honestly hate you. I really do. But I'm thankful that you're taking the time to see me through life from now on , because it's been a damn long time since you've done so.

There's so much more that I wanna say, but I want to keep the post short and I can't stand writing another sentence mentally, as all these are the thoughts running through my head right now.

Here's a song to everyone , to tell you how life is a beautiful thing. And that each person that comes into your life is an angel, which you should be grateful to have.

I'm not gonna take too much of your time, but I'm just going to highlight the changes that will come as soon as my SPM ends, which is November 25th.

First off there will be a new layout for my Blog as this one isn't as interesting as when I first got it.

Then I'll be making music as a small hobby for a while, which will be uploaded to my YouTube channel which is halfway to a million views....

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC20HGclFnE4du8CgT6cXjA

The channel is inactive at the moment, but once SPM is over I'll start posting something up and hopefully get some cash in the meanwhile.

I will also attempt to make a good Blog series about my time in Melbourne when I get there. If I'm good at holding the camera properly and it's angled to my face, I'll make a few videos. Might be very crappy though, as I'm inexperienced in editing videos.

I will also be making drastic changes to ALL of my current social websites that I have, so that people can start following me on my updates better, if anyone is even interested . *dramatic sad music*

One's that I'm currently actively tweaking :

Twitter : https://twitter.com/GregJSLow

Facbook : https://www.facebook.com/GregJSLow

Google Plus : https://plus.google.com/+GregJSLow/posts

There will be more to come, but for those you'll have to wait. 

Hey guys,

The year of 2014 is coming to an end pretty quick. Want proof? Christmas is in 6 weeks, that's how fast the time is going by. Looking back on this year, it's gonna be a very hard one but also one of the greatest years ever.

As much as I hate high school, constantly complaining on how life revolves around 11 years of pure torture by demons we call "teachers" and a hell chamber we call "school" . But although I've went through all 11 stages of it, it's quite hard to let go.

Although I don't have any GREAT memories to actually keep dearly to me, but the friendship bonds that I've made with so many people and all the times they and I goofed around school grounds, it certainly will be a memory that's the sweetest of honey.

True, I gained enemies, and a lot of haters as well. But since all of them are no longer in the same school as I am currently, it doesn't matter anymore. This certainly is a very hard time to actually go through, not to mention that I only have 5 more days to see all my school mates, ever !

I will be forging my future right after my exams, where I'll attempt to record some cover songs that I've set on my laptop, so hopefully I can live my dream of becoming a musician, which I'm sure, everyone wants to become one. I'm not saying that I'm better or have a higher chance of becoming a successful musician, because I can't even play any instrument for nuts, which is kinda one of the main things to survive in the music industry. Unless you're Adam Levine or something like that.

I don't intend of going into music and make random songs that don't make any sense. I want to change the world with my lyrics, which are soul touching and peace bringing. As much as I like to linger around the dark side of life, having constant thoughts of getting rid of specific people from my life completely, I do wanna change the world for good.

I guess I like aiming very high, right above the borderline of total success for someone. The best thing in life is when people appreciate your effort to make people happy when you're alive,and be remembered even after death. Although oblivion is inevitable, but being remembered by someone will be the sweetest thing ever, even though it would be the love of my life, I totally don't mind. It can be a complete Fault In Our Star script.

To my classmates, I'm not sure what road you're all going to take and pursue, but may all your dreams come true. Life is an adventure, every second has to be put to good use, unlike me who spends his time being on Facebook every single day. 

Nothing lasts in the world. Everything and everyone comes and goes. And that pain is unbearable. For myself, it would be my grandma ( dad's side ) . She can be long winded most of the time and bugs me a lot, but I know that she loves me. Somehow I keep telling myself to spend more time with her but I end up playing with my gadgets, laptop and smartphone.

She's really old , so she has a lot of life experiences that she shares with me. But the fact that she keeps on bringing up the topic that she could go at anytime is what fears me. There are few things that I can't afford to lose, and losing my grandma would be hard.

I remember a few years back when my grandfather passed away, then to my mum's brother , and many other people in the family, it's only a matter of time until I'm all alone by myself, and all the people that are around me will be no more, and an existential crisis hit me and I started bailing my eyes out, on how life is unfair and that we all have a timer which when it hits 0 , we will no longer be human.

No one is really dead, they're just not in a physical form anymore, but it still hurts. No one can take the pain of losing someone dear to them. Even me. I pray that my grandma has a very long time more.

Don't you just tend to stop and think about the whole purpose of human existence? I find it quite pointless on how we have to go through a lot of suffering in life, then a brief moment of peace and joy and we're gone. 

If you were to Wiki up the meaning of life, a lot of Greek philosophy and nonsense will come out. But for me, I believe that life is a battle. A battle that we can't win. Apparently I picture life after death as the weak ones get thrown into the pit of fire and brimstone while the strong joins God's side in an everlasting battle against the Devil. 

Do good in life and you shall become a warrior by God's side against the Devil. 

How awesome does that sound ?

Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away - is a quote that I live by, which I want to explore the world, learn different cultures and carve unforgettable memories everywhere I go. And I'm hoping for my music to take me there.

I've been put down a lot. All this talk about how I have to pass my SPM to get into college, get a stinking degree and progress on whatever I choose to pursue. My dad hasn't been there for me and here he's trying to give me life lessons like he knows it all, which I'm not entirely listening to him. My mum wants me to become what she wants me to become, which is an oil and gas engineer of some sort, which masters in Chemistry , which happens to be my most hated subject, alongside History which is already over for me.

But to hell with them , I'll choose what I want to do with my life. 

I've never learnt to trust anyone , because the more you trust, the deeper the wounds when they don't do as you intended. I've trusted my dad to come back a LONG time ago, but he came back last year, right when I decided to give up on him, and he expected me to be all happy and such. Nah, I couldn't take it, and I caused my mum to suffer my rage for a whole year.

The one who could save me was my dad , literally. My mum did a lot of nasty stuff to me when I was young, which I'm just gonna repeat it again if I were to type it down here. But I drowned. Drowned into the brink of madness. My life was back and forth, like the waves pushing me to shore and back, while I'm struggling for dear life to reach shore. 

As I grew up, my suffering become deeper as I learnt a few things about my pass. My mum tried to hide it from me, my dad only revealed a little bit to me, but my godmother revealed everything. It hit me hard, very hard. It's not easy being an adopted child into a broken family, you get hurt, and you hurt people in return.

At first it didn't strike me much that my mum and dad weren't really my mum and dad, because I had it coming as I look nothing like them. I was mistaken as a Malay a couple of times, which I just took it because I couldn't hide it anyhow. There was once where some bastard said that I was an Indian, and I felt like punching him in the face and shoving his balls down his throat because he's that blind ! He also mentioned that I looked like a Bangladesh guy.....wow.

But to heck with my looks, what struck me was when my mums friend, Sister Martha , approached me when we were in church and discussed with me about my family problems. She said that my biological mum didn't love and give a damn about me, so she just gave me away. That was the time when everything changed. A grenade blew up in me and I went on a rampage.

Rebellion is what they call it, I screamed, shouted, slammed doors and threw things everywhere. Those words hurt me so much that I even had a fist fight with my mum, and when I'm mad, I do things. I attempted to murder someone with a pocket knife once, but he's all good and we're good friends now.

I'm not entirely sure where this Blog post is going, which is kinda awkward. But to conclude it all, it's gonna be a sad year for me, as I progress onto a new phase in life and blah blah blah, you get the point. 

I'll start off by saying that I'm very surprised that people still read my Blog even though none of the contents that I have posted before are anywhere near the "interesting" mark. Either way, thanks for keeping the view count active , whoever you may be.

November is definitely a very stressful month for us 97' kids as we face the toughest challenge in our live, SPM. Or in the American version - O' levels.

It's very tough as we have to dig deep to absorb all the stupid stuff the text books and reference books have to provide you with....and that is information that you just don't give a damn about.

The first day is obviously BM ( Malay ) which is one of the trickiest tests that anyone can ever take. But I managed to pull through so fingers crossed I do get a credit for that, because I need it.

The second day was English, which was okay. For my essay I chose the question that needed the story to start with " The fisherman was at sea. It was stormy " or something like that.

The third day was Maths, which was ridiculous. Why ? Apparently the government with education or something like that , changed the format of the exam ! It's a bit too ridiculous, and I'm sure all 97' kids can agree with the statement. For various reasons, which we all don't know, the government of education probably hired a psychopath from a mental-maths-asylum to write the paper, and the guy did not do a good job !

Then it was Moral , which I'm not gonna comment because it really wasn't anything , I basically used only 2 moral values to answer the WHOLE paper and I managed to pull through.

Yesterday was History, which is obviously stupid. I'm not entirely sure what this country is with making History a compulsory subject to pass to reach higher heights ( college ) but it's a stupid , stupid idea.

I mean, Malaysian history isn't even interesting. You learn pointless stuff like jars and bones and people that no one even cares about. I went to our National Museum with my dad , and it was totally boring. Of course they had bones and carcass everywhere on display which is cool because I like those kinds of stuff, but other than that it's just stuff that one does not care about, especially me.

But the History paper was tough, and fingers crossed I get high marks for the 3rd paper which is on Thursday. 

Anyhow, all the best to everyone who's sitting for their SPM and may the odds forever be in your favor. Oh and to lighten up the mood a little bit, SPM finishes ( for most people ) on November 25th , and on the 26th , Penguins Of Madagascar will be out !