Perhaps I should dedicate a specific section for my family problems because here goes another one.

My uncle,again is the star of the post

And the television is the co star,again

Like I said before,I seriously can't stand him.

Number one,he's sh!t (somehow I have a really bad history with him,considering that he was the main reason why I feuded with my dad last year)

Secondly,he loves to think that he is the smartest. Well obviously I don't know how good his IQ is and I don't really care,but seriously.....EGO !

I F*CKING HATE PEOPLE WITH EGO!

Sometimes I hate Justin as well.

Most of the time he lets his ego take over,which can be bloody annoying at times.

I'm not gonna tell you all about him because no matter what,he's my bro and I love him :D

Back to my uncle.

Please,PLEASE,F*CKING PLEASE......

BUY F*CKING ASTRO FOR YOUR OWN HOUSE!!

I'm sure that you all don't have a relative who comes to your house just to watch your TV as if he owns everything right?

I have to eat what he likes,and most of the time it's the same f*cking thing and I'm sick of it.

My dad and grandma was so shocked to taste a pizza last year because that was how long they've been eating sh!t that my uncle orders my maid to cook.

My mum keeps asking me if I'm happy staying in my grandma's house. Yes,I'm happy. Technically because there's air-conditioning (my house doesn't doesn't have it) :'(

The only thing I hate seeing is my uncle. AND I'm pretty sure my dad dislikes him as much as I do,only in a different manner because grown ups like different things than teenagers.

He likes tennis.......

WHICH IS THE F*CKING MOST BORING SPORT IN THE WORLD!

Support something else for God sake like Arsenal or Chong Wei and not Ferrer or Nadal or whoever them sh!ts are.

Everyone has watched football matches on the sports channel,don't deny it.

It's blood pumping because the commentator is always talking,and it's entertaining. Not to mention when the fans starts screaming 'GOAL !!!!'

What do you get in tennis?

"Ughh,ughh,ughh" "40-15" 

That's pretty much it.No commentating.No screaming.WHY? Because tennis sucks!

The most sh!tty time of the year is the tennis tournaments,and I'm here in my grandma's house. 

I LOSE ACCESS TO THE TV WHICH LEADS TO THE CONCLUSION THAT I CAN'T WATCH ANY OF THE FUN SHOWS ON TV.

I'm talking about HBO,AXN,MTV,Animax (which I'm no f*cking subscribed to)

Why?

Because my uncle doesn't watch it and he doesn't want to pay extra.

F*CK ?!

He can take trips to Singapore more often than I get to have my weekends and he doesn't want to pay?

F*CK?!

Pure a$$sh!t

I can admit he is a hardcore movie lover but I'm like 1000000 levels above him because I watch REAL movies and not dramatic stuff all the time.

But come on,HBO ! 

Okay,scrap HBO....I want MTV.

I've never watched MTV in my life,my whole 17 years of my f*cking life !!

Most of my friends would go "Oh you saw that premier on MTV?" and I'm like "What's MTV" like a total idiot.

So he bought the sofa I'm sitting on,he bought the TV I'm watching my shows on,he bought the Astro that I'm watching TLC on (I love food) and now he wants to buy me?!

"What do you mean by,he's gonna buy you?"

Well, the seat that we (dad,uncle,myself) loves to sit on,is my uncles throne and my stool.

So when he comes,I practically have to worship him and give away my stool to him as if he's some sort of King.

Respect.

Yes I have respect.I have respect for people who mean something to me.

My uncle hasn't contributed any sh!t in my life,instead he's just causing more trouble between my dad and I,and I hate it.

PERISH!

I mean,he comes over,watches TV,and while he's watching TV,he falls asleep.Look,if you're tired,stay home...and sleep.

I've missed so many shows because of his sh!t such as

Doraemon

Terminator

Wipeout

Pair Of Kings

Lab Rats

Kickin' It

and more more more more more more more more more more!!!!!!!!

Today my mum went to my school to deliver my Taek Won Do form for my grading test,and she had a small conversation.

I wasn't there and my mum isn't 100% reliable but I'll trust her on this.

She said that my sensei can tell that I'm unhappy when I'm fighting.

I'll admit I show an unhappy face.But it's not because of fighting.

It's because that each week,new sh!t comes along and it feels good releasing it by punching the training bag. I love it,the pain,the feeling.It feels good.

A lot of nonsense has gone away since I joined and it feels great.

But of course,life is full of obstacles and things don't really go the way you want it to.

But just live life peacefully even though we hate people. Peace :)

First of all,happy Easter. 

Yes I'm a day late,sorry! I was busy.

Any way,life took a turn last week when I got my phone back. So,things have gotten better for now.

So far,things are okay. I'm really enjoying myself in taek-won-do and I'm piled up with dozens of cool movies that I've yet to watch.

I'm into music,in fact,we all are.

I do want a lot of albums,ranging from SNSD (Girls Generation) all the way down to Ed Sheeran which I've yet to discover his "+" album in the store.

So,I was walking into Speedy and I spotted

So,here we go again,fanboy mode on.

I've been a fan of 5SOS since the start,and to get hold of the album was quite cool,besides,they sing well too

Although I shouldn't have brought too much attention to myself when paying for it,because the cashier went like.

And I'm here like "I'M NOT GAY !!!!!"

There's only 4 songs inside but it's for a cheap price so it's legit.

1. She Looks So Perfect

2. Heartache On The Big Screen

3. The Only Reason

4. Disconnected

Well it's better than nothing ( I don't have iTunes by the way )

It also came with pretty sick stickers which I pasted onto my laptop.

Sorry though I can't show you how the stickers looks like because my phones' camera quality is awful,and not because it has low MP but because it's so darn blur!

Besides that,everything else is fine.

I'm sorry I don't have anything to talk about today because I'm quite busy with studies and stuff like that at the moment.

Until next time :)

It's been a week,a week since I posted my last post,a week since I lost my phone,a week since all this shit started,a week since I've decided that I'm better off not caring and not giving a damn.

I have been very patient,so patient that people could just take advantage of me and I just don't seem to notice it coming my direction.

I've been trusting many people,only to have them stating that "everything will be okay" when everything isn't.

I've been believing,believing that God could make things better.

I was wrong.

He doesn't help me.

Never did

Never will

I've had high hopes on things that would just never go my way,nothing as expected.

People are willing to throw down their pride to say sorry.I could too. In fact,I did. Nothing changed.

Things went downhill since Tuesday.

Losing my f*cking rights to my own f*cking phone was one.

Then my computer got f*cked up on the same day.

My mum,no sorry......the person living with me turned into my mortal enemy,permanently.

My friends,feeling sorry for me but secretly,I know....they're laughing behind because I'm such a sore loser.

No f*cking rights.

No f*cking privacy.

No f*cking damn given.

Just recently,things went way downhill.....more like down under now.

My mum....being sick.....thinking that I don't give a damn

Truthfully,I do give a damn....in fact,I give a f*cking f*ck.

Of course I wouldn't want to lose her.

We've never clicked for a long time,probably since Master Yoda died.

Who the f*ck wouldn't care about someone who raised them up?

What the f*ck is she thinking?

If she says that I don't care,so be it. Because I'm tired of caring. 

In fact,she's never actually supported me in ANYTHING.

She's always been like "Just pray to God" - well He's not helping because he's an a$$. I mean,I've had a billion wishes.....a billion possible wishes and not something out of the ordinary like asking Him to give me Superman's powers.

I waited....

For a sound

A voice

Something

I've just wanted happiness,happiness that Justin portrays through his wide smiles.

Perhaps I long for a real family,where things are just perfect,still attached like an unbreakable chain. But the chains shattered. Shattered so hard that it can't be joined back together,no matter what.

Maybe I don't need a chain. Maybe I just need a relationship where I'm not in the middle. A relationship where I'm not the play ball whenever it comes to money issues. I don't want to be the messenger boy any more.

 Like I said before,I've cried so much,so much till I could just fill the Nile River completely.

Disappointment flows through me. Disappointed that why,among the billions of people in the whole f*cking world,why do I feel like I'm hurt the most?!

Yes,some people don't have a proper life,no phones,no computer,no food,no shelter

But why? Why can they still smile? I'm sure the thought of suicide has come into their minds. I'm sure they deserve better.

What about me? I have a computer,a phone, food and shelter,but why am I still not smiling?Am I selfish?Am I greedy?

Yes.

I'm greedy because although the poor have a terrible life,but they're with their family,through thick and thin together. Sharing things,laugh and cry together. Supporting each other no matter what they do.

Me?

The only shit I hear from my mum is "it's not good for you"," too much radiation ","pray to God" "no" "no" "no" "no"

She has a friend named Martha,but we call her "Sister" Martha because she's a nun. 

She once spoke to me in private about my problems. It was the first and the last.

Those words,those words made me hate,hate everything so much that I would go berserk for no reason

" Your real mum doesn't love you,that's why she gave you away"

Oh hell no. 

That's why......why I hate my mum's friends so much.

Hoping for a change is me......a blind me.

Pointless.

As you can read from the big title coloured in purple (I believe) you'll probably already have a glimpse about what I'm about to say today.

First of all,I'm gonna make this official that I shall not treat my mum as my mum anymore?Of course this thought will go away eventually but for the time being,I hate her so much that I don't really care about her anymore.

Flashback time

When I was young,well I'm still young :3......yes she did take care of me.But under those sheets of white,lies a whole bed of black.I'm sorry if you don't understand,I'm awful with words.

My towel rack,or hanger whatever was and is very high up (well I was short so yeh). I had to climb up the bath tub to hang up the towel when I was still in primary school.

Once,I fell down,hard. My mum saw everything and instead of picking me up she said :

"Oh,good for you! Who asked you to play around? Hmph"

WHAT THE F*CK ?!

What kind of a mother  woman is she?! Normal people would help their kid up but she?NO! Instead,she accuses me of playing around which I didn't.

She can go pray to Jesus if she wants to know the truth,but God might just twist this whole fact around because He hates me no matter how much I trust in Him -_-"

Okay,I do go to church and I do pray to Him,but I'm really confused.People say that things that happen in your life are fated,but am I that unlucky to be :

ADOPTED -> FOSTER PARENTS DIVORCE -> BEING TREATED LIKE SHIT BY MY "MUM" AND MY DAD IS TECHNICALLY HOPELESS -> EXPECT ME TO RESPECT OTHERS WHEN I DON'T GET RESPECT FROM MY OWN GOD DAMNED FAMILY.

And a new thing,getting my phone confiscated from me at the WRONG times!

Now,during this day of technology it's hard to be left alone without a phone,TV,computer or iPads and tablets.

BUT I have a reason to be addicted to this.

I have tons of Whatsapp messages coming in daily from my school and a lot of them are pretty important. So when I get my phone confiscated and I find / get it back,I'd have around 200+ new messages and of course you don't expect me to be scrolling through all of them huh?

And of course my side course is my games,which mainly is Clash of Clans. Add on my music which I can't live without!

So back to my flashback while I listen to Rap God :3

I was accused by my friend's (Justin's) late grandfather around 5 years back because he suspected me teaching Justin how to lie,when I didn't because Justin is my best friend / brother and I wouldn't teach him something bad.

SO instead of protecting me,she went against me and started accusing me herself although she had no clue what was going on.

So.....that's f*cked up! Technically I got sabotaged from two sides as if she was at the old man's side the whole time / or they plotted the whole thing together.

Yes I had a really awful childhood,and it can't get any better..

People say that a house is only as good as it's foundation and a person is only as good or bad as their childhood.

Well since you've had a small glimpse of my childhood and as usual,a childhood could take a century to get the story done,I'm a loner because I just find myself unfit with other people. But I broke the barrier a long time ago because when there's a will there's a way.

My whole life I've always been treated like shit although it's only a sum of 20% of my 17 years but it hurts a lot! Don't bother about my backstabbing experiences and my break up with a girl,this hurts more.

What's worse is that I never had my dad with me.He was always in Hong Kong and it takes a miracle for me to contact him.So my journey all this while was tough,real tough.

I've had tons of private showers on my bed and I've had so many tough nights that I had to literally cry myself to sleep because NOBODY was there when I was treated like crap or felt like crap. My friends can't be there 24/7 :'(

I've prayed to God,constantly wishing for a better life,but things don't come easy unless you work and believe on it.I did work,I did believe. Nothing changed.

People say God takes time,but how long?! I'm not doubting him but being 2,000 years old means you can't do things fast? Or am I not as important unlike others who just cry because they didn't get the phone of their dreams and during Christmas they get it?

My Christmas by far isn't fun.I've never made a Christmas tree before,I've never hanged socks up and I've never actually had a good Christmas where tons of gigantic atomic bomb size presents are just waiting in the hall with my name on top of the wrapper.

My birthdays have never been fun as well.Yes I had birthdays where my whole family is together but they don't do much with each other because that's how thin their relationship is.

Most birthdays,I celebrate it with my mum and her 70+ year old friends. I've had people staring at me thinking why do I have such old friends around me.Well I don't obviously.I just don't have ANYONE to celebrate with and all my friends are too badass for my mum

She's quite retarded if you'd as me because all she knows is how to pray to God and don't give a damn about the real world,which is something that everyone should be afraid of

I've shared this to my friends and they always say " I pity you bro" and I keep telling them "Be grateful for having a great family" although they have their own complications. But they don't suffer like I do.

There's a word that says "God,Family,Friends,You" but in my case I'd say "Friends,You,Family,God" because I've never had anything easy in my life before.

Although I own a lot of phones,but my mum thinks that they're hers and she starts using it to store her rubbish such as weird messages and numbers.

I regretted sharing my computer with my mum,because she uses it a lot to download documents from the internet. Although websites such as porn sites gets a lot of viruses into your computer or whatever you use to watch it,but church websites gets MORE viruses into the computer.

Don't believe me?

http://www.slate.com/articles/technology/technology/2012/05/malware_and_computer_viruses_they_ve_left_porn_sites_for_religious_sites_.html

SO even godly sites has it's own devils.

My pervious Lenovo kept crashing because of this.And she kept accusing me and never herself but all I really do with my laptop is to play StarCraft and just go onto social websites.

My mum sent it for repair on the first week of last year,and I never got it back.I repeat. I NEVER GOT IT BACK.

My mum loves stealing stuff,and with the Toys R Us incident,she totally put the blame on me and expected me to confess on something that's bullshit because I didn't do it.

What does she steal?

My money.I always lose it.She gives this lame excuse that she's gonna put it in the bank or it's in a safe,BUT FOR WHAT?! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! GIVE ME BACK ALL OF MY MONEY YOU PIECE OF SH!T

I've never ever slept in peace thinking that my wallet would be at the EXACT same place the next morning in the EXACT placement that I left it last night.

She's never bought ANYTHING that I wanted so badly,such as a smartphone or a laptop. All she could say was "Ask dad". I had to beg my dad for my Samsung and I was only able to get my new Lenovo because of my grandma that felt touched after hearing that I would save up all of my money to get a new computer.

EVERYTHING IS BAD FOR ME.

Salmon,Sarsi,100 Plus,Coke,anything you can think of,is bad for me! What's good for me?Praying to God.

When I took up taekwondo,she went to my master personally and told him :

"You know,we as Christians don't believe in fighting,we should just pray to God"

Do you really believe that God can help you all the time?

I've given up on him myself.

If you have a brain unlike my mum, just think this logically.When a person is pointing a knife to you asking for your money,will you

A: Defend yourself
B: Pray to God that everything will be alright

Obviously A right?! See,she's such a dumbass !!

I've had around 200 fights with her last year alone and she keeps telling me that a demon is possessing me and she even brought me to counseling which was a total waste of time because I'm totally okay.She's the Devil that I'm fighting.

Okay I believe I didn't finish my phone story. Why was it confiscated?

On Tuesday,I decided to finish ALL of my homework once and for all.But because the night before I couldn't sleep so I was up all night,I crashed right after school and woke up around 4.30.

I wanted to start on my homework right away,but she called up and told me to get ready as she's gonna take me out for dinner.Fine.

She then fetched me up,drove all the way to PJ just to deliver a packet of cigarettes to a woman (as if that person couldn't buy it herself or something idk) and then went to other houses just to bug people before actually going for dinner which was already around 8

We had dinner at a steamboat restaurant and it was like a buffet where you pick your own food and stuff.I picked my own food and went to my table to sit down. My mum then came and asked me to get drinks for her and an old man that was along with us,and other billion stuff along the way. I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING MAID SO BLOODY GET SOME OF THE STUFF YOURSELF.

I was so mad that I couldn't actually eat anymore so I said that I'm hungry.The old man asked me if I wanted ice cream or a chicken so I declined.I don't know,but I guess that stupid woman must have thought that I was being rude to her stupid friend so she STOLE my phone the next day.

When I asked her for it,she could just answer "Oh,I don't know,it's not with me." SHE doesn't deserve to be a Christian,in fact she doesn't deserve to be a human. Get out of my life!!

I want my real mom,the one I've always wanted to see and hug and tell her about all the miseries she's caused me and how much I hate her!

ALL my dad and mom (currently) could say was "your mum didn't have enough money to support you,so she had to give you away"

WELL YOU GAVE THE WRONG KID TO THE WRONG FAMILY.

WHY?

Because I'm smarter,faster and more deadlier than anyone in my family because I don't hesitate in decisions when I'm mad,that includes attempting to take my own life thrice and almost killing someone in school because he pissed me off.

I know my dad,grandma,aunt and other family members are reading this,and I'm not giving a damn because I want the WHOLE world to know how much I hate this life,this family,this mom!

So if you or your friends have problems in life,tell them to read this post.Maybe they could feel grateful that their parents at least love them.

I had to work hard to get where I am.I did volunteer work and earned RM50 which is pretty okay,but my mum stole the cash.

While I was in Jakarta last week,my mum asked me to hand over my wallet to check to see how much money I have. Money minded b!tch. She saw my RM50 that I've been saving up and she took the money and gave it to my brother in front of me and could even dare say "this money is for you"

If I could leave her,I would.In fact,I can.I tried but she won't let me leave because if I leave her she wouldn't get any allowance from my dad anymore and she'd have to get her own money.

In the end,I've been

1. Robbed
2. Abused
3. Harassed
4. Cheated on
5. Backstabbed
6. Disrespected
7. Accused of things I didn't do
8. Cast out
9. Lonely
10. Suffering in silence
11. Treated like shit
12. Unloved
13. Uncared for