Typically for a teenager,finding the 'right one' would be a great subject to start with,but life doesn't put you in the fast lane,so obviously there will be obstacles blocking your course through the roller coaster that is life. Sometimes it can make you go mad.
Most of the time I'm not on the right track. I tend to stray away from the things that are most important and focus on the little details in life. I think everyone has their moments once in a while,where you seem completely lost in the big picture and decides to start small detail by detail.
When you hit year 10 (Form 4) here in Malaysia, EVERY student will already have the mindset that portrays Form 4 as the "Honeymoon Year". Not true. It's technically the foundation for your Form 5,and it's tough. It's like building a house. You can't just build the house right away without a foundation,because it will topple easily.
The "Honeymoon Year" mindset is so strong that no matter how many teachers try to convince you that what you're thinking about is nothing but a daydream,you still won't get their advice into your head.Unless if one of the teachers is your mum,then heck yeah you better get it into your head.
My Form 4 was terrible. I had the noisiest class ever ! It was fun to have all those psychos together though because you'll never pass a day of school without laughing when they're around because they're always up to no good.
I messed up pretty bad in Form 4 when it came to all the science subjects codenamed Biology,Physics,Chemistry and Additional Mathematics. I only managed to pull a "hat trick" with Physics when I managed to get a B+ last year if I'm not wrong,flunking the rest.
I don't recall why I couldn't focus last year,but it was horrible. Maybe it was because I had family problems to think of,which I couldn't get my mind of it for a second.
I'm sure I posted before that I argued with my mum a million times last year,and I'm not kidding. There were a lot of brawls and misunderstandings last year,that made me move out and stay with my dad for 4 months without any contact with my mum.
Why did this happen? Well I'm not gonna flashback on that part,but I had a hard time accepting the fact that my dad is back. Yes,it's awesome and stuff,but he's been gone a really,really long time,and it took me a while to adjust to the new situation because it was as if we weren't even father and son,more like old stranger and young stranger living in one house.
My dad and I,had a rough start. From my Toys R Us incident to the small argument over the sofa that my dear uncle likes to sit on. I'm pretty sick of fighting now,but that doesn't mean I like it when he comes over.
My dad told me yesterday that things don't always go your way for everyone in this planet. Yes true,it's a test from God to see if you can control yourself,but I'm a hot tempered kind of guy,maybe....and yesterday I wasn't hit in the face with a slap or something,but more like being hit in the face with an Ultraman laser,really hard.
From having a really tough time in school,as in Pn Khoo being an idiot,like I mentioned in my last post,to being super tired after school,just hoping to get some rest,and by rest I mean just laying down playing with my phone.....to awaiting my dad to fetch me up at 6 when he said he was still in a meeting and the wait dragged on till 9 pm. Obviously,you'd be driven mad like I did.
There are many things I don't feel comfortable sharing with my family,and that's an issue. Because they're not 100% trusted. How I feel,why am I never happy,and blah blah blah....life. My friends are more trusted because they've always been by my side no matter what. Justin is one of them,but since he's no longer in Malaysia,so our friendship is growing thinner and thinner,but we're still in contact.
Ash,who's been my friend since year 1,has always been the person who made my childhood fun. His dad did so many things for me,my thank you isn't enough. He made me happy,bringing me here and there,to movies,to theme parks,almost treating me like his own son,when my dad wasn't there for me. I owe almost all of my childhood to Ash,because without him and his family.....probably I wouldn't have lived a childhood.
Fatih, my gay friend (not really) is the best dude you could ever meet. Our interests don't match up though,as I like music in the new generation while he prefers music in the old generation like The Beatles. But regardless,I know a lot of oldies and we had a fun year last year together. I think I shared my life story with him the most because he has the same problems as me,and we help each other out in areas that we can manage. He's like a brother to me,and I'm happy with it.
With other of my friends,I managed to get through my high school though my results isn't that well. But I have friends always besides me,making me laugh,helping me out when I don't know how to do my homework and such. Some psychos even made a fan club for me,which is pretty awesome because my school has a small competition on "who has the better voice" overall. So I guess I've got supporters :3
Steve Jobs,Bill Gates,Mark Zukerberg,Einstein - they were all drop outs from school,and they changed the world. I wanted to do that,but didn't really have any concepts to think of. Last week I attended a course that will help me ace my exams,for the price of RM12,000. Well,that was a bust and I didn't go,but the seminar was free,and the guy giving out a talk said
" Do you know how to become a billionaire easily? The trick is to never find opportunities. "
What that means is that you don't find an opening in a job and go straight for it because the road is tough there. What he meant was you gotta take risks. I'm pretty sure the "risks" he mentioned is in your career,but my risks is in my studies. I have only 30% confidence that I'll do well in my SPM.
My dream was always to become a game designer (graphics designer - pretty much the same thing) and to make people enjoy themselves. The whole point of me going all out on this is to make family interactive games,like tennis on the Nintendo Wii for instance,where your relationship with your family can increase. I'm giving out to the people what I never had,and what I could never have,ever.
A lot of my friends are just like me,and they seem to take it easy.But I know inside,they're really hurt. I can feel their pain,because I went,and I'm going through it,every day of my life. Some of my friends even have their mother almost abusing them,forcing them to do things the mothers way,which I don't agree with.
Last year I went to a dentist for a check up.It was cheap and it's my mums' friend,so I tagged along (more of like,forced to go). Worst day of my life,changed the course of how I think for a while. That lady asked me what do I love to do.My answer was singing at the karaoke. She then gave me this ridiculous talk how karaoke joints are a place where drugs are given out and such. Either she watches too many Chinese drama shows,or she works at a karaoke,only too blind the notice there were poles and it was called a "Night Club with Karaoke"
Singing releases you off stress,totally agree. I love singing. Means I have too much stress,and I couldn't agree more. But,my dad told me to have a fall back plan as the gaming industry is big and many people want in. Yeah,but there are many gaming companies, Blizzard,Steam,Valve,Ubisoft....you do the counting. My backup plan : anything in the entertainment business,still. At first place would be singing,then perhaps acting and so on.
My mum and dad,doesn't support me. My dad keeps telling me "how many people can end up like Justin Bieber?". My answer to that : a lot. With determination,you can achieve ANYTHING. And I know,I can achieve to where Justin Bieber is,only without the millions of haters and typical problems with drugs and DUI.
My mum doesn't approve because it doesn't have a good income. Well,not true. She wants me to go into the chemical business,where the pay is super high,and also...your life is on the line.I mean come on,chemicals.....! But I'm not interested in chemicals and Chemistry,and it clearly shows in my results. So it's kinda hard living in this situation.
Regardless,I carve my own future.
