As you can read from the big title coloured in purple (I believe) you'll probably already have a glimpse about what I'm about to say today.

First of all,I'm gonna make this official that I shall not treat my mum as my mum anymore?Of course this thought will go away eventually but for the time being,I hate her so much that I don't really care about her anymore.

Flashback time

When I was young,well I'm still young :3......yes she did take care of me.But under those sheets of white,lies a whole bed of black.I'm sorry if you don't understand,I'm awful with words.

My towel rack,or hanger whatever was and is very high up (well I was short so yeh). I had to climb up the bath tub to hang up the towel when I was still in primary school.

Once,I fell down,hard. My mum saw everything and instead of picking me up she said :

"Oh,good for you! Who asked you to play around? Hmph"

WHAT THE F*CK ?!

What kind of a mother  woman is she?! Normal people would help their kid up but she?NO! Instead,she accuses me of playing around which I didn't.

She can go pray to Jesus if she wants to know the truth,but God might just twist this whole fact around because He hates me no matter how much I trust in Him -_-"

Okay,I do go to church and I do pray to Him,but I'm really confused.People say that things that happen in your life are fated,but am I that unlucky to be :

ADOPTED -> FOSTER PARENTS DIVORCE -> BEING TREATED LIKE SHIT BY MY "MUM" AND MY DAD IS TECHNICALLY HOPELESS -> EXPECT ME TO RESPECT OTHERS WHEN I DON'T GET RESPECT FROM MY OWN GOD DAMNED FAMILY.

And a new thing,getting my phone confiscated from me at the WRONG times!

Now,during this day of technology it's hard to be left alone without a phone,TV,computer or iPads and tablets.

BUT I have a reason to be addicted to this.

I have tons of Whatsapp messages coming in daily from my school and a lot of them are pretty important. So when I get my phone confiscated and I find / get it back,I'd have around 200+ new messages and of course you don't expect me to be scrolling through all of them huh?

And of course my side course is my games,which mainly is Clash of Clans. Add on my music which I can't live without!

So back to my flashback while I listen to Rap God :3

I was accused by my friend's (Justin's) late grandfather around 5 years back because he suspected me teaching Justin how to lie,when I didn't because Justin is my best friend / brother and I wouldn't teach him something bad.

SO instead of protecting me,she went against me and started accusing me herself although she had no clue what was going on.

So.....that's f*cked up! Technically I got sabotaged from two sides as if she was at the old man's side the whole time / or they plotted the whole thing together.

Yes I had a really awful childhood,and it can't get any better..

People say that a house is only as good as it's foundation and a person is only as good or bad as their childhood.

Well since you've had a small glimpse of my childhood and as usual,a childhood could take a century to get the story done,I'm a loner because I just find myself unfit with other people. But I broke the barrier a long time ago because when there's a will there's a way.

My whole life I've always been treated like shit although it's only a sum of 20% of my 17 years but it hurts a lot! Don't bother about my backstabbing experiences and my break up with a girl,this hurts more.

What's worse is that I never had my dad with me.He was always in Hong Kong and it takes a miracle for me to contact him.So my journey all this while was tough,real tough.

I've had tons of private showers on my bed and I've had so many tough nights that I had to literally cry myself to sleep because NOBODY was there when I was treated like crap or felt like crap. My friends can't be there 24/7 :'(

I've prayed to God,constantly wishing for a better life,but things don't come easy unless you work and believe on it.I did work,I did believe. Nothing changed.

People say God takes time,but how long?! I'm not doubting him but being 2,000 years old means you can't do things fast? Or am I not as important unlike others who just cry because they didn't get the phone of their dreams and during Christmas they get it?

My Christmas by far isn't fun.I've never made a Christmas tree before,I've never hanged socks up and I've never actually had a good Christmas where tons of gigantic atomic bomb size presents are just waiting in the hall with my name on top of the wrapper.

My birthdays have never been fun as well.Yes I had birthdays where my whole family is together but they don't do much with each other because that's how thin their relationship is.

Most birthdays,I celebrate it with my mum and her 70+ year old friends. I've had people staring at me thinking why do I have such old friends around me.Well I don't obviously.I just don't have ANYONE to celebrate with and all my friends are too badass for my mum

She's quite retarded if you'd as me because all she knows is how to pray to God and don't give a damn about the real world,which is something that everyone should be afraid of

I've shared this to my friends and they always say " I pity you bro" and I keep telling them "Be grateful for having a great family" although they have their own complications. But they don't suffer like I do.

There's a word that says "God,Family,Friends,You" but in my case I'd say "Friends,You,Family,God" because I've never had anything easy in my life before.

Although I own a lot of phones,but my mum thinks that they're hers and she starts using it to store her rubbish such as weird messages and numbers.

I regretted sharing my computer with my mum,because she uses it a lot to download documents from the internet. Although websites such as porn sites gets a lot of viruses into your computer or whatever you use to watch it,but church websites gets MORE viruses into the computer.

Don't believe me?

http://www.slate.com/articles/technology/technology/2012/05/malware_and_computer_viruses_they_ve_left_porn_sites_for_religious_sites_.html

SO even godly sites has it's own devils.

My pervious Lenovo kept crashing because of this.And she kept accusing me and never herself but all I really do with my laptop is to play StarCraft and just go onto social websites.

My mum sent it for repair on the first week of last year,and I never got it back.I repeat. I NEVER GOT IT BACK.

My mum loves stealing stuff,and with the Toys R Us incident,she totally put the blame on me and expected me to confess on something that's bullshit because I didn't do it.

What does she steal?

My money.I always lose it.She gives this lame excuse that she's gonna put it in the bank or it's in a safe,BUT FOR WHAT?! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! GIVE ME BACK ALL OF MY MONEY YOU PIECE OF SH!T

I've never ever slept in peace thinking that my wallet would be at the EXACT same place the next morning in the EXACT placement that I left it last night.

She's never bought ANYTHING that I wanted so badly,such as a smartphone or a laptop. All she could say was "Ask dad". I had to beg my dad for my Samsung and I was only able to get my new Lenovo because of my grandma that felt touched after hearing that I would save up all of my money to get a new computer.

EVERYTHING IS BAD FOR ME.

Salmon,Sarsi,100 Plus,Coke,anything you can think of,is bad for me! What's good for me?Praying to God.

When I took up taekwondo,she went to my master personally and told him :

"You know,we as Christians don't believe in fighting,we should just pray to God"

Do you really believe that God can help you all the time?

I've given up on him myself.

If you have a brain unlike my mum, just think this logically.When a person is pointing a knife to you asking for your money,will you

A: Defend yourself
B: Pray to God that everything will be alright

Obviously A right?! See,she's such a dumbass !!

I've had around 200 fights with her last year alone and she keeps telling me that a demon is possessing me and she even brought me to counseling which was a total waste of time because I'm totally okay.She's the Devil that I'm fighting.

Okay I believe I didn't finish my phone story. Why was it confiscated?

On Tuesday,I decided to finish ALL of my homework once and for all.But because the night before I couldn't sleep so I was up all night,I crashed right after school and woke up around 4.30.

I wanted to start on my homework right away,but she called up and told me to get ready as she's gonna take me out for dinner.Fine.

She then fetched me up,drove all the way to PJ just to deliver a packet of cigarettes to a woman (as if that person couldn't buy it herself or something idk) and then went to other houses just to bug people before actually going for dinner which was already around 8

We had dinner at a steamboat restaurant and it was like a buffet where you pick your own food and stuff.I picked my own food and went to my table to sit down. My mum then came and asked me to get drinks for her and an old man that was along with us,and other billion stuff along the way. I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING MAID SO BLOODY GET SOME OF THE STUFF YOURSELF.

I was so mad that I couldn't actually eat anymore so I said that I'm hungry.The old man asked me if I wanted ice cream or a chicken so I declined.I don't know,but I guess that stupid woman must have thought that I was being rude to her stupid friend so she STOLE my phone the next day.

When I asked her for it,she could just answer "Oh,I don't know,it's not with me." SHE doesn't deserve to be a Christian,in fact she doesn't deserve to be a human. Get out of my life!!

I want my real mom,the one I've always wanted to see and hug and tell her about all the miseries she's caused me and how much I hate her!

ALL my dad and mom (currently) could say was "your mum didn't have enough money to support you,so she had to give you away"

WELL YOU GAVE THE WRONG KID TO THE WRONG FAMILY.

WHY?

Because I'm smarter,faster and more deadlier than anyone in my family because I don't hesitate in decisions when I'm mad,that includes attempting to take my own life thrice and almost killing someone in school because he pissed me off.

I know my dad,grandma,aunt and other family members are reading this,and I'm not giving a damn because I want the WHOLE world to know how much I hate this life,this family,this mom!

So if you or your friends have problems in life,tell them to read this post.Maybe they could feel grateful that their parents at least love them.

I had to work hard to get where I am.I did volunteer work and earned RM50 which is pretty okay,but my mum stole the cash.

While I was in Jakarta last week,my mum asked me to hand over my wallet to check to see how much money I have. Money minded b!tch. She saw my RM50 that I've been saving up and she took the money and gave it to my brother in front of me and could even dare say "this money is for you"

If I could leave her,I would.In fact,I can.I tried but she won't let me leave because if I leave her she wouldn't get any allowance from my dad anymore and she'd have to get her own money.

In the end,I've been

1. Robbed
2. Abused
3. Harassed
4. Cheated on
5. Backstabbed
6. Disrespected
7. Accused of things I didn't do
8. Cast out
9. Lonely
10. Suffering in silence
11. Treated like shit
12. Unloved
13. Uncared for