Two years ago, I decided to tell the girl that I like that I'm interested in her and hopefully fingers crossed she would become my girlfriend.

I had the idea of writing her a super long letter, which I could only actually write when I was in the middle of my mid term examination. I was inspired by this Chinese drama that was airing that month and the guy wrote a very cheeky letter to the girl of his dreams and I did the same.

But, I didn't have the courage to give the letter to her myself. When I want to talk to a girl that I have 0% knowledge about ( what she likes to do, or likes to listen to , etc. ) , I start to get cold feet. More like icy feet in my situation.

I asked a friend of mine who's close to her to hand the letter to her the instant I bailed out of class and ran home feeling shaken as she was about to open the letter and I wasn't there to witness it and hear her comments.

The next day I met my friend in school. He told me that she read the letter and she said that I am a freaky kid to be around and such. *glass breaking* - there, my heart was shattered into a billion pieces and counting.

I was really heartbroken, which was a first since she's the first girl I had a crush on. As a typical 15 year old guy who isolates himself from society, it's hard to even communicate with a human being. That night itself I decided to call her up, after about 3 hours of banging my head on the wall when the words "You can't do it" kept swirling around my tiny brain.

She picked up and I asked her if what my friend said was true. Apparently he was just being a troll just to make me feel all sad and all, but she said that the letter was the cutest thing that's ever happened to her and she wouldn't mind giving this relationship a go.

Me : *changes Facebook relationship status*

Score ! I now have a girlfriend. BUT, I didn't think this one through. My dad wasn't back then so he couldn't do anything, whereas my mum was around but she was a control freak and wouldn't let me go out anywhere. Besides, she banned me from finding a girlfriend until I become Master Yoda or something.

The first step was accomplished, but to maintain the relationship was really hard. Me and her went to different schools and our schedules were different. So while I was free she probably had school activities going on and the opposite way around.

The only time I could see her was during tuition, but I was so scared to even LOOK at her that I pretty much blew everything away. After 3 months of this nonsense we broke up.

Then, stayed single for a really long time, I'm still single anyways.

But right before my PMR, which was 2 years ago, I went to a church camp. And there, I saw a girl.....a really really cute girl !

I managed to get to talk to her and we became friends. And it was cool. After a while I realized that I liked her....which was a "calm down boy" situation for me as I felt really desperate to be in a BGR.

I went to many events with her and it was really enjoyable. I knew that she had no feelings at all for me, whether if I decide to tell her I like her or not, but I was okay with just being her boy-friend. 

Later on, which was last year, BOOM - we ended up in the same tuition. I was happy to see her as she was excited to see me. 

I sat behind her as that was the only spot that was not taken so I pretty much observed the whole class and what they were doing rather than focusing on the class itself.

A guy who shall remain nameless, kept taking her phone and checking her stuff and all that, which didn't really bother me. But I kinda didn't expect them to be super close friends, almost to the point of boyfriend - girlfriend, or I'm just exaggerating.

Last night something just hit me to check my Instagram and look at prom pictures for some reason, and I found her school's prom event pictures. (We're from different schools) 

And there I saw, she and the guy who constantly stalked her phone and such. He was a bit of a dick and a really annoying person,but it didn't bother me. I just didn't expect them to be at prom.

I'm not in the position to judge if they're in a relationship or just prom dates, but one : I couldn't go to prom as my school never funded the event. And two : they seemed happy together. So two arrows that is scorching with fire just pierced my heart where all the feelings are kept. Oh, it really hurt.

I guess that now I can at least know that it's no point of me fantasizing of the day I tell her that I like her as the day isn't coming soon, or maybe ever.

This is pretty much the summary of my love life until last night. Right now I'm just gonna enjoy my holidays.

Melbourne is in 5 days and OMG I really can't wait. I'm staying with a professional photographer, which hopefully will allow me to use his camera to take photos, if I'm even good at it.

Before I go, if you're living in the Subang Jaya area like I am, do head over to CK Multimedia as the shop is having a year end sale for video games.

2 PS3 games for RM99

3 XBox 360 games for RM99

4 PC games for RM99

Applied to the games that is showcased at the section.

I bought Mass Effect 3, GTA IV , Dead Space 3 Limited Edition and Crysis 3 Hunter Edition for only RM99. Each of the games cost over RM100 and some even approaching RM200. It's a great deal.

CK Multimedia :