My "How To" Guide #13 - Getting A Girl To Like You
Hi Internet,
Since I don't have much to talk about,I just decided to continue on my "How To" entries until I have nothing in mind anymore.
Today I shall be talking (sharing) about getting a girl to like you
If you tend to fall into the "friend zone", this will be especially important. Real girls (girls with a strong sense of purpose and self-worth) don't like guys who have no lives or who will cling on to them like plastic wrap . Some girls do like that, but for all the wrong reasons—either they're insecure and needy for attention, or they're control freaks who have a need for dominating guys. Unless you want to sign up for one of those scenarios, focus filling your time with your own friendships, interests, hobbies, and goals.
Keep yourself well groomed and in shape. If you want to get a woman to like you, basic cleanliness and appearance are extremely important. Girls notice things like bad breath,body odor and greasy hair before they notice that winning personality. Give them a chance to see your good qualities by making a good first impression with your appearance.
- Stay in shape. Work out regularly. Note that while fitness is important, you shouldn't overdo it; having too many muscles can make it look like you care more about going to the gym than fostering meaningful relationships. Also, some girls dislike having the Incredible Hulk as a boyfriend, and it makes you look slightly stupid - thanks to the dumb jock cut-out. So make it clear you're fit, but not thick. In other words, stay fit without being obsessive or a pair of walking biceps.
- Have good personal hygiene. Brush your teeth, shave etc. Carry breath mints when you're out of the house just to be safe. When you take care of yourself, it makes you more appealing to others and it will thus have a positive impact on your level of confidence. Always be sure to smell and look nice, so shower regularly and nothing is worse than the post-gym stink out, so use deodorant.
Speak to her.
It's unlikely a girl will be at all interested in you if she doesn't know you exist. Make an effort to talk to her, even if approaching her seems scary at first. Highlight your compatibility as friends and more by talking about hobbies and interests that you have in common. Become her friend; she can't get close to you unless you're friends.
- Find a hobby you both like. It doesn't matter if it is anything from sports to school or the entertainment side of life.If you both like video games,play something that is two players or if not,cheer for each other.
Telling jokes or funny stories is a classic way to make a person laugh, but not the only way. Be bold and think of some antics that will make her laugh, like clowning around. Find out which are her favorite comedians, funny movies, or sitcoms. Watch them with her. Laughter will come by itself if both of you are relaxed and enjoying each other's company. The more she laughs, the more she wants - and she will want more.
Girls don't just fall for random strangers. (Well, some do, but the relationship never goes very far!) Start being friendly to her in a non-invasive way. Get to know her and begin hanging out as friends.
- If you're in the same lecture or tutorial as her, find out her name. Every time she walks into the room, smile and wave at her. Sometimes this is all it takes for a young woman to notice you. At the same time though, don't do this too often; It will just end up looking like you're obsessed with her. If you're worried, greet some of your girl friends as they enter, too. If she doesn't seem to see you, when she walks by, just say "Hi _______," in a friendly way, but don't interrupt the class or any conversation she's holding.
- If she's shy, she might just smile back, so don't take this as a sign that she doesn't like you.
- If you want your relationship to move ahead faster, don't get stuck in the quicksand - that is the 'Friend Zone'. Sometimes a girl won't go out with you because she's afraid if the relationship ends badly, she'll lose your friendship! To start moving things along, be a little flirty; a woman will only be intimate with a man she knows, trusts and cares about, and this can only be achieved with taking the time to get to know her through friendly chat. However, don't come on too quickly - part of the fun of the relationship is the chase - and have patience. Girls HATE being forced into something, especially on the relationship front.
If you really like someone, you probably appreciate a lot of things about her. Why not let her know? If anything is different or new (her hairstyle, nail polish color, shirt, etc.), make note of it. The more unique the compliment, the better received it will be.
- Most girls like being complimented on something that makes them distinct, not something that plenty of other women have. If you compliment her appearance, try to be original, perhaps by specifying a particular feature. Better yet, compliment her personality or skills.
- Don't tell her she's beautiful too often. If she's very pretty, it's likely that several other guys have already mentioned it to her; it may sound trite after a while. If you're going to compliment her, stand out by making comments about her personality, how good she is at something, how she does things, etc. Complimenting her appearance too much may make her think you're shallow and maybe that you just want to have sex with her, and you don't want to give that impression.
There's no one-size-fits-all solution here. What impresses one girl might make another roll her eyes. Your best bet is to be yourself. Demonstrate a unique skill, talent or something difficult to do that you're proud of, something that sets you apart from the crowd.
- Be careful not to be cocky. Impress her, but do not boast too much about your great achievements and plans. While self confidence is an attractive quality, extreme cockiness is a huge turnoff for most girls.
Take your time.
Don't be pushy or needy. Nice girls normally need longer time than boys to develop deep feelings. Continue courting her by following the steps above, but don't rush things. If you end up in a relationship with this girl, she'll always remember how you made her feel when you were just getting to know each other.
- Make her feel appreciated, not invisible or smothered. Do the chase slowly and gently (but steadily) to reduce fear of sexual advances (if any), avoid looking desperate, and to allow her to get accustomed to a new man in her life,. Do not force the relationship; carefully look for clues on where and when you can see her again.
Once you feel comfortable, invite her to go somewhere or to do something with you. Make sure it's something that you're both interested in. If you want, show her your world. Bring her somewhere that you feel comfortable and preferably, where you have or do something you're proud of.
- Alternatively, you can express interest in seeing her world. Is she a musician? Ask if you can see her perform. Is she a mathematician? Ask to read her report or thesis.
- If you aren't yet ready or comfortable with the idea of sharing your personal lives to that extent, just go out for lunch or do something simple together where you can get to know her better.
Chivalry is not dead. Keep it up by opening doors, holding an umbrella over her, carrying stuff when she has her hands full, lending her your jumper, and basically caring for her. The mark of a true gentleman is to a lady feel like a lady. Women want to feel important and valued. When communicating with her, make an effort to say more rather than less and to keep things personal rather than generic. When you want to ask her out or to do something with you, ask in person, preferably at her home. She needs to know that you're prepared to go the extra mile and not wuss out on her.
The stereotypical icons of romance (roses, candles, chocolate and teddy bears) can only go so far. Think about what really gets that special someone excited. Recognize what makes her unique; find and do things that only she would appreciate. Being romantic means acknowledging how special a person is, and that means demonstrating that you know––better than anyone else in the world—–what makes her unique.
- Pay attention when she's talking! Keep a mental list of things that she loves and that make her unique. What are her quirky (perhaps secret) interests, obsessions and fantasies? What makes her eyes light up? Girls are quick to notice if you remember things they told you a long while ago.
Confide in each other.
Tell her what you really enjoy in life, what gets you excited and find out what gets her excited. Be positive. If you had a bad day, still greet her pleasantly with a big smile. Most importantly, listen to anything she says. Whether she talks about herself, her family, or her hobbies, pay attention. Some things could be useful or important to know later in the relationship. Nod to show that you're listening, and also respond to what she says so she knows that you really are listening. Women are very appreciative of guys who demonstrate sincere interest in what they say.
You are unique. Be the authentic you. Bring out your best. Let her know you as who you truly are. Use your talents, gifts, and strengths and let yourself be known. If you have great sense of humor, share that with her. If you love science, music, poetry, politics, or sports, let her know what you love. The right woman will fall for you and love you just the way you are.
- Using good manners helps to make her notice you. For example, open doors for her and pull a chair out for her to sit (or the whole "laying your jacket over a puddle" thing). If you're just getting to know her, more subtle manners will help you. You don't want to creep her out by randomly pulling out her chair in the cafeteria if she barely knows you! And when you do this, don't stand there grinning and waiting for her to thank you profusely. Pull out her chair, let her get seated, and then go sit down. Open the door for her, continue listening if she's talking, and come in after her. Continue with what you were doing. If she does thank you, just nod and smile or say "My pleasure." No big deal.
- A girl likes a guy who is true to himself. It shows that he isn't fake and that he will most likely not be playing her. Pretending to conform to an image in an attempt to impress her will instead make it more difficult for her to trust you when she finds out, which will happen eventually.
- Don't be afraid to smile. Even if you don't have much of a smile, it will make you seem down-to-earth and friendly. A calm smile will make you more approachable, especially if you're just getting to know her.
- If you know her birthday, maybe you could bring her a gift card for her favorite store (it doesn't have to be a lot of money; she'll appreciate it just the same) or that new scarf you've heard her talking about with her friends. Just the fact that you 1) remembered her birthday and 2) brought her a gift will make you stick out as a sweet guy in her mind.
- Understand that it's an urban myth that most girls like "bad boys" best. Many girls love a sweet guy, rather than the jerk who only likes them for looks. If you try to be a sweet rather than "bad" guy, you will have longer lasting relationships that are strong, too!
- Remember, the girl you fancy is not a trophy to be won or just a goal to achieve; you are finding out if your relationship will work for your whole life. If you both go into a relationship like that, whatever happens will be best for both of you.
- Be honest. Never lie to a girl just to impress her.
- Don’t talk about yourself the whole time. People have a tendency to talk about themselves too much, especially when they are nervous. If you feel like you need to say something, ask a question instead. Remember to listen as much as you speak.
- Try not to compare her with other girls you have been on dates with, even in your mind.
- Don’t talk about dates you have had with other people, especially on a first date. You can find better, kinder things to talk about.
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