How To #10 - Start A Conversation With A Girl
By Gregory Low - November 15, 2013
My "How To" Guide #10 - Starting A Conversation With A Girl
Hey guys,
And this time,I really mean "guys".
Are you at the age of adolescence (teenage years) yet?If it's a 'yes',do you have a crush on a girl?Do you see her in school everyday,or sometime during the weekends or so?Are you shut down from her world because you're only treated as a 'friend'?Do you feel heartbroken?
Well,worry no more,because Doctor Doofenshmirtz is here to help you, Perry the Platypus!
Catch her eye
Just smile at her from across the room, excuse yourself as you brush past her, or just lock eyes, look away, and then look back at her after enough time has passed. You don't have to say hi to her the second you notice her; instead, you can spend some time making her curious about you first. If you already know the girl, of course, then don't play too hard to get and go right up and say hi to her.
- Make sure to keep up confident body language as you approach. Keep your head up high, your gaze straight ahead of you, and maintain good posture as you approach her.
- If you wait too long to say hello, she might feel like she's getting ignored.
All you have to do is say, "Hey, I'm (your name) -- what's your name?" Or, "I'm (your name). It's nice to meet you." When she responds and gives you her name, reach out and lightly shake her hand. Don't be awkward about it. If you already know the girl, you can just say hi and make sure to use her name.
- Once you know the girl's name, use it a few times so she thinks that you're really invested in the conversation and care about what she has to say. Just once or twice is enough.
Loosen up and let this girl see who you really are. If you're a goofy, funny guy, make her laugh. If you're more serious, talk to her about topics that are interesting and meaningful without being too serious instead of cracking tons of jokes -- unless jokes are your thing. Also, while you need to find out about her, you also need to tell her yourself so that she can get to know you.
Smile.
This can help a lot. It shows that you are enjoying the conversation and that you feel comfortable, which will make the girl continue talking with you. Try to have a natural expression that has your lips slightly upturned in a smile, and at the appropriate moments, smile bigger and grin. Smiling at key moments at the beginning of a conversation can make the girl feel appreciated.
- Smiling will put the girl at ease and will make her feel like you really like what she has to say.
- Don't smile the whole time, obviously, or you'll look nervous.
If you like the girl, then sure, the goal is to get to know her on a deep level eventually, Pick light topics that are inoffensive and are easy to talk about, such as your pets, favorite bands, or hobbies, so that you don't make the girl uncomfortable before you really get to know each other.
- Picking light topics to start off doesn't mean you have to pick boring topics.
- Follow the flow of the conversation. Sometimes two people really hit it off and start opening up to each other much faster than they would expect
Try to steer the topic in the direction of something you both care about. You don't have to do this by asking her about her favorite bands, types of food, hobbies, or forms of exercise; you can just listen to the natural flow of the conversation, and see if you can find something you both like, or if you can get her to notice something you like. For example, if she likes Tokio Hotel and you do too,just talk about them.
- When you're talking, make sure you ask open-ended questions instead of "yes" or "no" questions, so you can keep the conversation going.
- Don't despair if you feel like you have nothing in common. You'll be able to find something eventually if you keep up a fun conversation for long enough.
- It may turn out that you don't have so much in common, but that you click because you have similar personalities or outlooks. That's good as well.
- When you mention a band you like, ask her if she likes the band too; let her see that you care about her interests when you're talking about yours.
You don't have to stare into her eyes like you're searching for your own reflection and creep her out, but you should make a point of giving her all of your attention, and not looking down at your phone or scoping out the room to see if anyone more interesting has walked by. You can break eye contact every once in a while, but only to keep things interesting, not to show that you're bored.
- Making eye contact shows confidence. If you make a point of locking eyes with the girl, she'll see that you're confident about getting to know her.
Girls like guys that listen to them and like what they say. Don't constantly interrupt her to state your opinion; let her talk and share thoughts with you. However, show that you're listening by nodding, saying "yes" or "no" at the appropriate times, and answering her questions.
- Ask her what she thinks about whatever it is you care about -- your favorite music, the new fashion trends this season,the latest movies or sports
- Though it's important to ask for her opinion, try to avoid talking about religion or politics immediately, or you may get into an argument you didn't anticipate.
- When she says something, make sure you respond and show that you're listening by rephrasing what she says occasionally.
You should compliment an aspect of her personality or her looks without freaking her out to show her that you care. If you like her type of music, or the books she reads, tell her that she has great taste. It's all right to compliment her clothes, hair, or jewelry, but you'll really win a girl's heart if she sees that you're into more than just her outside.
- If you're going for the physical compliment, don't do more than compliment her clothes, hair, or in more intimate cases, her eyes. It's not time to freak her out by telling her how hot she is before she even knows your last name.
- If she has a great laugh, don't be afraid to tell her that.
You can show that you're interested by asking her what her favorite subjects in school are, asking about her favorite teachers, or even letting that lead you to a discussion on what she wants to do when she gets older. Don't just nod and say, "That's interesting..." ask her why she likes a certain subject or why she wants to take the job she's mentioning about when she grows older.
- Some girls don't like talking about school that much. If you're sensing a lack of interest, just move on.
- Don't make it feel like an interrogation. You can talk about the subjects you like, too.
It's best to not tease girls about things they might take seriously, especially weight, looks, or intelligence. It's especially important not to make a comment that the girl can take the wrong way when you're just getting to know her.
- Don't tease her unless you really feel confident that she'll get it.
- Follow her lead. If she has been teasing you for a while, it's okay to tease her back. Just make sure to keep your jokes on the same light level.
Girls like guys that make them laugh. Don't be afraid to flaunt your wit and sense of humor -- as long as you aren't too raunchy or inappropriate in the beginning. Don't over think it. If you have a goofy or a cornball sense of humor, let her see it.
- If you try a joke and she doesn't laugh, show her that you don't take yourself too seriously. Say, "Maybe I'll have better luck next time..." and it'll make her laugh.
- If she makes a funny comment, don't just say, "That's really funny." Show her that you can make a funny comment right back.
A girl will be able to tell if you're trying too hard from a mile away. If you want to keep her interested, then you shouldn't relentlessly pursue her if she doesn't want to be pursued. Relax and stop caring so much about impressing her and you will actually end up impressing her more.
- If the girl sees that you're comfortable enough with yourself that you don't have to try so hard to get her to like you, she'll want to talk to you even more.
Be confident in yourself and don't be afraid of saying something stupid. Just keep engaging her and be okay with the occasional awkward exchange, silence, or story that you had trouble telling the right way. Stay positive, relaxed, and happy, and she'll have even more fun talking to you. Don't be too self-deprecating, even if you think it'll make her laugh, or she'll think you have a low self-image.
- You don't have to brag to be confident. You can talk about how much you love basketball without telling her that you're a star athlete.
- One sign of confidence is being able to laugh at yourself. This will show her that you don't take yourself too seriously.
If you're nervous, sweaty, or scared, the girl will be able to tell. If you're feeling nervous, just slow down your speech, focus on the dynamics of the conversation instead of every word you're saying. If you're not relaxed, the girl will pick up on your tension and will feel uneasy as well. Take deep breaths, slow down your speech and movement, and think about the best case scenario instead of the worst thing that can happen.
- If you're really nervous and it's painfully obvious, you can make a small joke about it to lighten the mood.
- If you're really the nervous type, bring a bottle of water or soda around with you so you can sip on it from time to time to calm yourself down and to take small breaks.
Talk to her honestly, and don't stretch the truth. If you really get to know and like her and she eventually finds out you lied to her, it's extremely embarrassing to you and breaks her trust (and the relationship). You shouldn't be putting on an act whenever you see her, in any sense.Even if she doesn't notice for a while, other people (and other girls) will notice you're acting more impressive around her.
- If you want to see the girl again, then your lies will eventually catch up with you. If you want her to like you, then she has to like the real you -- from the beginning.
People like hanging out with people who make them laugh, feel happy, and have a positive outlook on the world. If you're feeling grumpy or like the world is against you, then it's not the best day to approach a girl. Talk about the things and people that make you happy and focus on the positive experiences you've both had; when you get to know each other better.
- You can even catch yourself if you're having a negative moment. If she asks you how school was and you say, "Terrible," fix the negatively by saying, "But I'm really loving this new song I'm listening to," or "I just bought a really cool new video game"
- If she asks you about a certain band that you really hate, you can say something like, "I haven't really heard enough of their music" or "They're not my favorite, but they're pretty good." Don't go off on a rant about how much you hate something when you're first talking to a girl.
If you really hit it off with the girl, then you can ask for her email, phone number, her last name so you can be Facebook friends,or even her Twitter username. If you're asking her out, you can be more blunt about it, but if you just like her and want to talk to her again, just say something like, "I have to get going, but I'd love to pick up this conversation another time. Can I call you so we can do that?" She'll say yes without hesitating.
- If you're feeling more shy, get her Facebook or email, and send her something goofy with it--a link to a web comic she'd enjoy or a silly forum thread. It's also less awkward than the phone. It helps her notice you more and you have a better chance of meeting again.
- Get her contact information just when the conversation is going great, and you're at your peak of finding fun things to talk about. Don't wait until the conversation drags to ask for her contact info, or she'll be less inclined to see you again.
Thanks for reading guys! (And I really mean "guys")
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/GregJSLow
Song of the Day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnxiRt4qeM4
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